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'Hellboy (2019)' Movie Review

It's bad... It's insultingly bad. They should have just made a third movie to the original trilogy that del Toro made. You know, the guy who poured his blood, sweat, tears, (and partial weight) into his two films. This movie feels like an empty husk--a cash grab that has no feeling. You hear about the behind-the-scenes drama that took place and it clearly shows. No even joking, there are sequences throughout the film that aren't lit the same and feel like they were shot with two different cinematographers, only to go home and find that, that was the case. HOLY SHIT, this is damn near disrespectful -- not only to the source material but to the audiences as well.

They got rid of fan favorites like Abe and Liz and replaced them with jizz-ghost girl and Asian were-leopard five-o. I didn't give a shit, and neither will you. No one gives a good performance with the exception of Hellboy, which is odd because he is the least developed in his own movie. Odd. But what's even odder, is how violent and "R-Rated" this.

Don't get me wrong, I would love to see an R-rated Hellboy movie, I would, but I want the rating to be justified. It isn't here. The swearing is inconsistent and childish, and the gore and violence is incomprehensible and feels like something an edgy 15 year old would do to scare people.It's insultingly violent and there should be no reason why I have to say that "a demon ripping a dude's dick in half was unjustified".

Seriously, if Doom is ever made into a good movie that's the type of shit I'd love to see on-screen. But for a Hellboy movie, a series that is mainly focused around what it means to be human and have a soul, I expected more. This movie will flop and it will be better for it. I cannot stress how much you should never see this movie -- EVER. The only reason to ever consider it is for filmmaking classes, and for getting crossfaded and watching something that will mess you and your friends up horribly. After seeing it once, I am never watching it again. And hopefully, it will be forgotten, just as shit-tier movies deserved to be.


Verdict: 1 out of 5 Stars

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